Getting Older...

Its funny how as you're getting older, you think you've changed in ways...

Some ways you get better, maybe some you get worse. I find that I'm more angry more quickly than I used to be, but that I keep it inside of me more often. People still treat me like I'm some outspoken asshole. I guess maybe I am sometimes, I dunno...

In getting older, you lose some of your friends that maybe can't handle hanging out with you unless you are all drinking etc. You gain some that like you better the way you are. Lately I've found that the friends I thought I had are a bit less inclusive than I suspected they would be, having moved back from a year away in upstate New York.

But then I guess I'd be just like everyone else, thinking that the grass is always greener, etc. It's not. It's what you make of it. Maybe that's what we learn. Life's a bitch, and then you die... grin while you can.

Pokers...

It seems that lately I've got a lot of pokers in the proverbial fires... not a bad thing when it comes to money, but I just haven't seen any lately. So I'm wondering about things and what they're really worth. Talent aside, whats a singer for a night really "WORTH" in terms of being paid to play? 100? 300? Who knows...

Anyway... I'm sick this week. Haven't had much energy and I have a show tonight. Should be interesting to see which 'me' shows up...

HA. HO. HE. HA. HE.

So I wasn't really sure if I should start rubbing the Red Sox epic failure and collapse into the faces of my friends over the last month or so, and I held off. Truth is, this paid off better than I imagined. They are all crying now and it actually feels good not to have to rub it in, because THEY DID IT TO THEMSELVES!!!

All the gloating and Epstein-blowing that went on in the off-season. All the preseason "RED SOX WORLD SERIES CHAMPS" banners being touted by the experts. None of it means DICK, because their team lacked the leadership and HEART necessary to rebound from some injuries. The Yankees were banged up all year long and still produced the best record in the AL with some suspect pitching.

Anyhoooooo... bring on Detroitrockcity and Verlander. I'm happy. For now.

a new realm of...

eh, who knows what... SO... I'm playing a gig this Friday night and I'm paying some production company 15% of what I make from the place... not tips, mind you, but I plan to have a word with the owners of this place that night about how these things work... its ultimately SUPER STUPID to have someone taking 15% of a musicians money simply for booking the show... I'm bringing my own PA, playing the show, and all this guy did was stand me up for a week and get back to me 4 days before the show? What if I'd said "fuck it" and booked something else? Super-super-unprofessional... sorry for all the SUPER's in this post, but I just watched "THOR"...

crazy is as crazy does

this has been a nightmare couple of days... yesterday I get ripped apart by a fucking lunatic for no reason, today I get the news my mother is in the hospital... while it puts things into perspective, it also reminds me that life is too fucking short too. It seems like only yesterday that I was 10 years old and splitting weekends between Plainville and Meriden and loving life... that was 25 YEARS ago... I had a similar epiphany watching the New York Giants celebrate their 86 Super Bowl team during halftime the other night. I am sitting there thinking, "wow, they look old" and it hit me: I am NOW older than any of those guys were when they won that championship... WHOA....

mourning glory...

so I'm recording and writing again... guess the depression and fear of failure really does propel the music... going to hit it again and again until it's right, again... and then we'll see what it ends up as. I think this is a more Americana record like 'the sun, clouded over' but I can't really be sure yet... time will tell, as it always does...

music IS art

It's rant-o-clock... So I submitted to this music festival when I first moved here a couple of months ago called Music is Art, which is in its 9th year here in Buffalo... I'm in my first quarter year here so I didn't expect much, given that my name and notoriety hasn't yet followed me to the great white North... 

That being said, when you submit to a festival with the kind of resume that I've got, I figured SOMETHING would come of it... but alas, it was not to be.

So before heading to the fest with the girls on Saturday I read this piece in a local paper about how many musicians were grumbling that they felt screwed out of playing the festival. I'm pretty sure everyone felt deserving, and from the bands I've seen here, they probably were... 

So in going to the festival with a mini-chip on my shoulder and armed with this knowledge that other musicians were a little pissy about it too, I was fully aware that I wasn't going to be as 'into it' as I should be. But, being a grown-ass man, I was willing to put it aside and try to enjoy what music Buffalo had to offer. 2 DJ stages, an Americana Stage next to where the kids zone was, and 3 other stages down a steep embankment set sidebysidebyside with each other... so the Americana peeps get drowned out by DJ thudding all day, the other 3 stages are hosting high schoolers, rappers,  and what I'll dub here as the "Presented by Depends Adult Diapers"crews... not ONE band of merit in the entire fucking setup. I saw some people (the MAIN singer / songwriter) playing in multiple bands, and stages/sound organized by entire circles of friends and their friends bands etc.

Since I'm now a local musician here, I will join the grumblers and call this fest BULLSHIT. //end rant.